Office etiquette: a brief guide through the daily minefield of social slip-ups
A loud belch after a quick snack at your desk or in the office, an animated retelling of a bedroom story at the coffee machine, an unappetising remark about the dress sense of the curvy executive assistant – you do not need expert knowledge of “workplace etiquette” to know that none of this is acceptable. Equally inappropriate, though perhaps more surprisingly so for some, are a slap on the intern’s backside, talking down to a subordinate by using an overly familiar tone, or angrily kicking over a bin during a heated meeting – all of which clearly fall into the category of conduct worthy of a formal warning. Less serious but still a definite no-go are loud private phone calls that give colleagues in the open-plan office unwanted insight into the differing standards of cleanliness of the co-worker who has just moved in with her new boyfriend. The same goes for private internet browsing at work, even if the online auction for that coveted King Ludwig commemorative coin happens to end inconveniently during regular working hours. And so on, and so on.
1. Open-plan office rules: hidden pitfalls and regional quirks
The road to success is paved with hard work and countless turnings that call for a keen sense of direction. The road surface itself, however – and anyone who works in a team knows this – is also littered with pitfalls. Navigating around them with elegance is a skill that very few people possess naturally. Day after day, grey areas of etiquette lurk, so to speak, behind every filing cabinet and, because of the many unwritten rules of office life, they are not always obvious at first glance. Yet in a company, as in any other social group from a sports club to a family, values and rules shape everyday life. You should be familiar with the most important ones that have crystallised into standards over time.
Of course, it is possible to overdo it and rack your brains over every tiny little detail. For example, what is the most appropriate way to greet the boss in the corridor, whether a handshake in passing is suitable, or whether a brief wave or a jovial nod would be better. Whether “Good afternoon” is still appropriate or “Good evening” is already called for, or whether the supervisor’s Bavarian “Servus!” should now be answered in kind or whether that would be too familiar. In many cases, a well-trained sense of decorum and good judgement will help you do the right thing in any given situation. But as a general rule, anyone who works with others in a company should find out which manners are valued in their working environment. And this should be obvious too: naturally, very different rules apply in open-plan offices than in a carpentry workshop. And as the example of a hearty burp after a meal – which in the Middle Ages could still be understood as a compliment to the kitchen – shows, manners change over time, and so your personal office etiquette needs regular updates.
2. Of Cardinal Sins and Grey Areas
Right from the start, here is a selection of the worst career killers: constant frustration, arrogance, resistance to advice, disrespect, gossiping, unpunctuality, being overly talkative, stubbornness, loudly paraded self-importance or even self-doubt, impatience, any kind of drugs in the workplace and ingratitude. Anyone who knows how to avoid this whole list will at least not make themselves unpopular straight away. It is also wise to steer clear of the grey areas around these behaviours. For example, it is sheer disrespect to comment on a colleague’s physical flaws. It really is that simple. But the broad field of disrespect also includes slouching in your chair looking bored during meetings, staring at your phone instead of the flipchart or seemingly trivial things such as failing to look the other person in the eye during a one-to-one conversation.
The line between a genuinely positive trait and crossing the line can sometimes be very fine. Case in point: self-confident behaviour. It is certainly helpful in a job interview and valued by hiring managers, but taken too far, it can become a flaw. A department head who can confidently lead a meeting is doing a good job. A department head who starts showing off their knowledge or lecturing during the meeting will quickly come across as arrogant. That is why it is equally important to keep your “antennae” finely tuned even in long-standing working relationships.
Because in this respect, a marriage or long-term relationship is not all that different from a long-term working relationship: the danger of becoming too comfortable and granting yourself special rights just because you have been with the company for years is considerable. To put it casually: the employee who starts coming and going whenever and however they please, leaving wild chaos on their desk and extra work for colleagues, is roughly the workplace equivalent of the husband in sliders and a ribbed vest shouting over the TV and asking his wife when dinner will finally be ready.
3. Grey areas and internal company standards
While most of these open-plan office rules can still be worked out through logic and a feel for what is appropriate – and what is not – things become a little more difficult when it comes to internal company rules. In many businesses, their own rules have evolved that would be unthinkable in other companies. If you think of the world of the IT sector, very different conventions certainly apply there than in banking. For example, there are companies where everyone, from the boss to the intern, is on first-name terms. If newcomers were to start addressing others formally across the board, or even only some of them, that would be out of place. However, if employees from such a “first-name company” move to another business where formal address is customary, they should adapt. As a general rule, it is always important to look at how things are done in the company you are currently working for. If in doubt, it is better to stick to general rules of etiquette and tend to appear more reserved than pushy. Incidentally, that is also what a recognised expert in the field of “business etiquette” says.
4. Good advice from an expert in the field of “business etiquette”
Communication trainer Helga Schmidt is, among other things, Managing Director of the Business Etiquette Institute and also trains other coaches in this field. As an example of an internal company rule, she cites the topic of “dress code”. “If there are service uniforms, then this question naturally does not arise.” If not, there can certainly be pitfalls that employees should avoid. “My clothing must fit the company. But even if there are no fixed rules: a neckline that is too low has no place in an office, and a skirt must not be too short.” As a rule of thumb, it may skim the knees, but should not end above the knee. “Heels on shoes should be no higher than five centimetres. Coming to work barefoot is also completely unacceptable. Unless, of course, I work in a beach bar.”
If a tasteless comment is made about a female colleague’s skirt length, this is of course a breach of the rules. Helga Schmidt recommends responding to suggestive remarks immediately. “As the person concerned, I have to make it clear straight after the remark or the action that this is not acceptable.” It is very important here, on the one hand, to set clear boundaries, but on the other to maintain an objective, professional tone. In the event of repeated incidents, she advises involving a supervisor quickly.
In general, the expert advises resolving conflicts in the workplace as quickly as possible. “If one colleague feels harassed by another colleague’s bad behaviour, this is best resolved in a one-to-one conversation.” If that does not help, the direct supervisor must take over. This applies to all issues that lead to conflict. “It could be that a colleague smells, dresses inappropriately or comes to work in open shoes.” A quick response prevents these conflicts from escalating, which ultimately affects work. As a general rule: disruptive factors take priority.
5. Quick information – Short interview
Professional communication trainer Helga Schmidt specialises in “business etiquette” and trains other coaches in this field. In this short interview, she provides an overview of the complex topic of “office manners”.
Where are the most mistakes made in offices when it comes to manners?
The most common and most serious mistakes are made at company parties when alcohol is involved. Suddenly colleagues start using first names with each other, only to regret it deeply the next day, and that creates an awkward atmosphere.
How should I address my supervisor in an email?
Well, the now widespread “Dear” as a greeting in an email to my boss, whether male or female, is inappropriate. It is far too personal and takes away from the seriousness of the message. Besides, bosses are generally not in their position simply because they are especially lovely people. No, I write “Dear Mr” or “Dear Ms”, or “Good day” or “Good morning”.
What about eating at your desk?
Eating a sandwich at your workstation is not really appropriate. In many offices, however, there is no other option. If agreed in advance, that is also fine. Open-plan office rule: food should not be a nuisance to others in the office. Not through its smell and not through any noises. Normal rules of good manners apply. Washing your hands before and after a meal is part of that too.
What else is important when interacting in the office?
If I work in an open-plan office, I must not talk too loudly on the phone, and I should not have private conversations too often. Consideration is important in a large office. If I want something from someone, I do not shout across the whole room. The rule here is: the person who wants something is the one who moves. When someone calls, I answer with my first name, my surname and say “Good day” or “Hello”. If a stranger or a customer comes into the office, I stand up and look at them when I speak to them.
Office manners are clearly a broad subject with plenty of pitfalls. Yes, but being able to behave well is not everything. A positive manner will often make up for the occasional breach of etiquette. What matters is knowing the rules; then you can always adapt what is not quite suitable.
6. Rules for a good working atmosphere in an open-plan office
A office chair in an open-plan office is an everyday challenge for many people. Those who take it in their stride can avoid pitfalls and rising frustration. Here too, Kant’s categorical imperative serves as a basic guide to behaviour, summed up in the saying, “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” In other words: if something bothers you when others do it, you should definitely avoid doing it yourself. This is by no means limited to rules of etiquette such as greeting one another or using a respectful tone, although these are of course essential. Anyone entering a room should say hello, even if no one seems to notice. The same applies when leaving – usually someone will return the greeting in a friendly way. Managers should not call employees over only to spend a long time on the phone at their desk and keep them waiting. Excessive deference towards those higher up in the hierarchy is just as unwelcome. Hierarchies should never get in the way of attention and courtesy. For example, a department head should hold the door open for an intern carrying a stack of folders. But beyond specific actions and no-gos, the working atmosphere is heavily shaped by subtle signals and sensory impressions.
It’s not only loud phone calls or lengthy private conversations that can be irritating, but also “loud” colours and decorations some people use to express their individuality. Neither a gallery of family photos nor a collection of children’s or grandchildren’s artwork should dominate the workspace – one picture is perfectly fine, anything more is too much. Alongside food smells, overpowering perfumes or aftershaves can also be disturbing. Musty, sweaty-smelling clothes make life difficult for colleagues. On hot days, the only real help is an unscented anti-perspirant stick or roll-on, plus a fresh shirt or blouse to change into. For sweaty feet, there is deodorising foot powder, which has long been taken for granted in other countries.
Constantly repeated movements or gestures are just as annoying and fall under the unwritten rules of the open-plan office. Most of the time, you hardly notice these habits yourself. But if you catch yourself clicking a ballpoint pen while on the phone, twirling strands of hair when thinking, or walking around with a bunch of keys jingling, you can be sure your colleagues have been annoyed by it for a while. Breaking the habit is difficult; in this case, it helps to ask someone sitting just one office furniture away to point it out kindly but consistently.
7. Open-Plan Office Etiquette: Being considerate helps
There are numerous unwritten rules of conduct when it comes to open-plan offices. To get along well with others, the first step is to realise that your own behaviour can seriously disturb other people. If a colleague does something that affects your work or your mood, you should talk to them about it: not when you are angry or desperate, but as calmly and relaxed as possible, ideally while also offering to stop doing something yourself. Making lists can help: What about others bothers me, what affects my concentration? Which of these things do I do myself as well? If possible, you should discuss it with someone and clearly explain why you are asking, rather than talking about the annoying habits of others. That is also a no-go when it comes to the rules of the open-plan office.